On Wholeness
Within a vast mind, the past does not exist.
It is nowhere to be found.
The only thing real is the eternal present moment.
The only thing that exists is the eternal present moment…
Wholeness is integrity
In the eternal now.
Wholeness is the union of body, heart and mind
In the eternal now.
Wholeness is one’s thoughts, words and actions aligned
In the eternal now.
This is where I take my stand.
With my high desert allies -
Cool earth beneath my feet
Wise trees silent beside me
Warm sun beams lighting the way
This is where I stand.
Upon a foundation of self-esteem
In the eternal now.
On Fear
In the face of Fear
I seize permission to be who I am
I seize permission to live my journey - as it was
In the face of Fear
I recruit strength from the Earth
I recruit strength from within
In the face of Fear
I force shame out of hiding
I expose shame to the light of day
In the face of Fear
My body shakes yet I stand my ground
My body shakes yet I won’t back down
In the face of Fear
I mend the internal split
I unify the broken pieces
In the face of Fear
I end years of silence
I end years of self-betrayal
In the face of Fear
I suit up and show up
For me - For you - For us all
On Patience
It took me 8 years of struggling alone with an eating disorder before having the courage to tell someone about it.
Bravery takes time.
It took me 5 years of a consistent yoga practice, 1200 yoga teacher training hours, and a solo trip to India before teaching my first yoga class.
Success takes time.
It took me 7 years of being caught in a toxic, codependent relationship before gaining the strength and resources to walk away.
Change takes time.
It took me 2 massive heartbreaks and 10 years of trauma therapy before attracting my life partner and being in a happy relationship.
Healing takes time.
It took me 20 years of drinking alcohol to decide that consuming an addictive neurotoxin isn’t congruent with my potential.
Learning take time.
Where are you now and where would you like to be?
Be patient with yourself.
Getting there takes time.
Yoga for Confidence
On This Body
This body has housed
each version of me
Little me
Teenage me
Woman me
Terrified me
Invisible me
Abused me
Voiceless me
Starving me
Bingeing me
Anxious me
Codependent me
Survival me
Secretive me
Addicted me
Heartbroken me
Angry me
Healing me
Resilient me
Happy me
Healthy me
This body has
Carried me
Believed in me
Protected me
Fought for me
Every single day
It has found
Safety
Connection
Abundance
Joy
Thank you
Thank you to this body
For holding me up on my hardest days
For being my longest-lasting friend
For supporting me unconditionally
Thank you
On Self-Love
Self-love is holding myself
in my own arms
Repeating
I’m here for you
I’m here for you
Self-love is asking
What wants attention?
What wants to be witnessed?
What needs support?
Self-love is listening deeply
to my own heart
Being present with the pain
Not shying away
Whispering to myself
You are safe
It’s ok to feel this
You are safe
Self-love is screaming into a pillow
Releasing years of pent up
Fear
Anger
Lies
Shame
Self-love is freeing my voice
Self-love is freeing my true self
Self-love is encouraging myself
Saying
You are awesome!
Look at everything you’ve come through!
Look at the woman you are now
You are AWESOME
Self-love is being present for my body
Present for the pain
Self-love is saying to myself
I am here for you
I am here for this pain
Self-love is forgiveness
With a reassuring tone
Saying over and over
I forgive you
I forgive you
You did the best you could
I forgive you
Self-love is repeating
lovingkindness to myself
Filling that deep hole inside
with
Sweet
Kind
Loving words
Self-love is a commitment
to own my story
The whole fucking story
Not just the parts
other people want to hear
Self-love is NOT appeasing others
Self-love is NOT betraying myself for others
Self-love is NOT hiding my authenticity from others
Self-love cannot come FROM others
It must be sourced from within
That’s what makes it SELF love
Self-love is radical
Self-love is bold
Self-love is here
Self-love is NOW
Yoga for Happiness
On Self-Esteem
When I was a little girl
there was a hole
inside my belly
where self-esteem
should have been
I set out on a journey
to fill that hole…
I starved myself so I could be skinny
I worked hard to be popular
I overachieved in school
I became
Homecoming Queen
Student Body President
Valedictorian
Was THIS self-esteem??
I sought attention and fame
by moving to Hollywood
I worked in nightclubs
Dated celebrities
Modeled
Auditioned for TV & film
Was THIS self-esteem??
I started drinking in order to fit in
I started drinking to appease alcoholic men
I kept drinking even though it was POISON
Poison for my body
Poison for my mind
Poison for my soul
Was THIS self-esteem??
I got certified at this school
And certified at that school
Oh, and at that school other too
I graduated with one degree
then I graduated with another degree…
Next up be would be my PhD
Was THIS self-esteem??
I worked night and day
to build a career I could be proud of
I worked night and day
to selflessly be there for others
I worked night and day
Night and day
Night and day
Was THIS self-esteem??
Yesterday, I cried
I cried for the little girl
with a hole inside her belly
I put two hands over the pain
I rocked her back and forth
back and forth
I told her, of course!
Of course you didn’t have any self-esteem
Of course this hole is empty
It’s not your fault
I love you
I understand you
I am FINALLY here for you
She whispered back
Thank You
THIS is SELF-ESTEEM